famous than you are.

2.    Touch yourself in Music Videos.

3.    Blow the Director or buy the Director Blow. 

4.    You can drink Wine before noon.

5.    Have only 1 name, or your First, Middle & 

       a hyphenated Last name.

6.    Never wait in line...anywhere.

7.    Talent is not a prerequisite... money is. 

8.    Never know the names of 'the help'.

9.    The products you endorse in Infomercials

       are sold in Kiosks at Malls.

10.   Make sure your Infomerecials are only 

        shown in Taiwan.

11.   Have a naughty part appear at the half

        time show at the Superbowl .

12.   All laws below manslaughter do not apply

        to you. If you have a superbowl ring,

        murder is even cool.

13.   Make sure one of your groupies always

        carries your stash incase you get busted .

14.   Never go out without full hair and makeup.

15.   If people think you are gay, Marry Meg Ryan.

16.   Punch a photographer in the face and smash the    

         camera. and If he's not taking your picture, even better

         reason!

17.   Always tip the bartender twice the price of the drink.

18.   Never sing at a benefit concert with Celine Dion.

19.   Neverever do a duet w/ Michael Jackson.

20.   Never take the bus.

21.   Never fly coach.

22.   The more boob we can see, the better you

        look, but if we see nipple you're a whore. 

23.    Make sure your wine is older than your spouse.

24.   It's always good to have a younger sibling

        with less talent and less Celebrity.

25.   Talking to commoners is useless.

26.   You must marry the same person twice.

27.   You always have to look 27.

28.   You never where clothes twice, donate

        them.

29.   You must have a driver.

30.   You must have an crystal healing auora

        therapist for your pets.

31.   You're pets must fit in your purse/man bag.

32.   If your Marriage lasts longer than 4 years, You're not

        famous anymore.

33.   Never pour your own drinks.

34.   Never buy your own drinks.

35.   Never finnish your drink.

36.   People do whatever you ask them to with-out question.

37.   Let someone steal your cell phone and make sure the

        National Enquierer gets a hold of it.

38.   Spend $100,000 a year on plastic surgery so it doesn't

         look like you had plastic surgery.

39.   Give your kids ridiculous names so they have complexes

        causing them to do drugs all their childhood, and end up

        with the whole family on a Reality show.

40.   Give your kids ridiculous names so when they grow up,

         they become famous just  for having a *#^%& name and

         your last name.

41.   Supply prostitutes to people having completed

        CELEBRITY course 101.

42.   Have a restraining order on your wife who in turn has a

        restraining order on you just because the well being of

        your  @*#%  named kids is at stake.

46.   When falling in love, jump up and down on a couch like

         a  moron on national tv to show the world just how

         much of a  moron you really are.

47.   Always wear sunglasses inside .

48.   Don't let your baby drive.

49.   If you have ugly teeth, get VANEERS , PLEASE !

50.   Water your plants, they'll still respect you.

51.   Be born into a rich and godd looking gene pool.

52.   If anyone in your family speaks bad of you... kill them !

53.   You have to re-name one of your staff Curious 'Horhe' 

        (pronounced whore-hay) which is Spanish for George.

54.   Only be seen with people not of your race, so you stand

        out.

55.   Only go to Vegas to get Married for your 5th or

        more Wedding.

56.   If you are going to have sex with animals...don't get

        caught.

57.   If you win an Oscar thank your publicist.

58.   Be or date a figure skater at least once.

59.   Do a Tarantino film.

60.   Always keep gays on staff! Just incase you need them.

61.   Only Elton John gets to sing 'Candle in the wind'.

62.   Only Liza sings Cabaret and Judy sings 'Over the

         rainbow' .

63.   You must have at least 1 tattoo that every-one knows

         about and one nobody knows about.

64.   You need to have at least one line of shoes in every color.

65.   Never eat green eggs and ham.

66.   Your kids must have names like Jose, Johnny & Jack,

         but never Sambuca, that's too obvious.

67.   Get caught by the Paparazzi doing something sexual by

         someone you do not know.

68.   Always send your food back until it's free.

69.   Always keep the ORIGINAL Sex tape, unless your career

         needs a boost, sell it for as much as they will pay you .

70.   Lebannon is not a tourist destination!

71.  Unless you are funny...don't come out if you are a  

        lesbian.

72.   When you die, be buried never burned... so you leave

         room for the possibility of a comeback.

73.   Never debut with a scandal one should leave that to old

        age.

74.   You are never sorry!      ... unless ... it's good publicity.

75.   Have sex with Tommy Lee or Pam or both at least twice,

         and preferably on tape.

76.   Never f&*%$ on film (unless it's artistic) or  (you can

        blackmail other Celebrities for money)

77.   If you are in 'N' Sync...COME OUT !

78.  Sprite is NOT  a substitute for Perrier.

79.   Don't sign anything except a pre-nup.

81.   You must be estranged from one of your Parents at all

         times.

82.   Only wear black to the Oscars or your funeral.

83.   Always invite Elizabeth Taylor to your weddings.

84.   Always marry up.

85.   The Orchestra always follow you.

86.   Bellini's replace water.

87.   Every few years make people question your sanity.

88.   Never eat more than once a day.

89.   Never throw up more than once a day.

90.  Don't marry someone old or ugly... unless they are rich

       and you have a prenup that includes liquor.

91.   Don't have kids just adopt them from a foreign Country,

        then when they turn 18, send them back !

92.   Be authentic.

93.   Have gay sex once.

94.   Have gay sex twice.

95.   Be seen with Madonna once.

96.   Be seen with Madonna twice.

97.   You always have to have somebody beside you to

        remember what you've said, who you have said it to, and

        to later relay it back to you verbatim.

98.   If you say it enough it becomes true.

99.   If you are truly Celebrity you can reinvent yourself

        every  7 years 4 months.                

100. Your pet must have their own suite

101. Don't give your pets anything but evian